How Ho’oponopono Made Me a Better Listener

by Colin Gonsalves

My wife works as a therapist with juveniles in a detention center. So I get to hear the interesting stories that take place. I have to admit I’m not good at hearing people vent without providing solutions. So usually our conversations end up with me giving her suggestions and my wife getting pissed for not just listening. A few months ago I had read the book “Zero Limits” which described the Ho’oponono technique. It involves saying the four statements whenever unwanted emotions are building up. The four statements are:

I’m sorry.
Please forgive me.
I love you.
Thank you. (The order of the statements is irrelevant.)

I thought these statements while my wife was describing her day at work. The next day, while we were walking our dog she mentioned that I did an amazing job listening to her ven and that she noticed the change. I shared with her that I was clearing myself using Ho’oponono while she was talking.

The following week she told me that the kids who were usually non-responsive really got involved in the group therapy session and that the session was one of the best she’d experienced at this place in while. She mentioned that she said the four statements before starting the session.

I often use Ho’oponono when I am aware of the tense feelings and I’ve seen it work a large percentage of the time. The trick is to remember to say the four statements when unwanted emotions arise.